Inner Perfectionist
I doubt these geese in Prospect Park are worried about perfection, comparison, or perception.
Today I offer an open letter to my inner perfectionist. I offer this in the spirit of sharing and also as a template to make your own:
Dear worrisome one,
You’ve had a long tenure at the helm of my action-ship. Thanks to you, I have done a pretty good job at holding the massive burden of the smallest of details, thinking about the future but not moving towards it, coping with that stagnation through procrastination and distraction, believing that I don’t need help when I do, making impossible to-do lists that set me up to feel like a failure (but allows you do you best work). And last but not least, making sure I’m not ill perceived by people who are not actually paying attention or worrying about anything I might do because they rightly don’t care and are busy worrying too.
Thank you for your service, we’ve not done a lot together. And now I have to move on.
With compassion,
Tara
Offerings for Reflection and Curiosity:
Being a perfectionist or striving for “perfection” is a tricky beast when our individualistic ethos and dominant culture of white supremacy and patriarchy rewards it and identifies it as an attribute to our work ethic. What ways can we tap into drive and motivation and excellence that doesn’t cause harm to ourselves or to others?
How often do ideas of what personal and professional success look like start with “I should…” or “I Shouldn't….” Where/who are those ideas coming from? (see above)
How do your notions of what work should look like, keep you from doing the work you want?
How do expectations (self and projected) keep you from showing up fully and compassionately in your relationships?
How does fear of failure keep you from disrupting norms, changing destructive patterns, and shifting culture?
How filled with self-ridicule are you on the days you don’t wanna/can’t leave the couch or aren’t mowing down your to-do list? Or sparking with generative thoughts? Side note on this - I’ve started making note to myself on a calendar when I go into this particular flavor of pandemic slump as a reminder that it’s temporary and cyclical and real. This allows me to lean in, be in it, and then move my way out of it. Self-Ridicule just gets me stuck there.
I also want to name that I thought a little too long just now about whether or not to use bullets above (chill perfectionist ,chill!)
That’s it for me for now, but if you ever wanna talk about how perfectionism is killing your vibe and keeping you from living your best life and brainstorm some ways to reclaim what success looks like for you. I’m here for it!
Schedule a strategy session with me!
Happy New Moon and Sending Love,
Tara