Airing Fears Out
Have you ever returned to a book and found a note you wrote in the margins, and said “oh yeah, that’s exactly how I feel!” or “that’s exactly right!”, except that you had forgotten you felt or thought that way? That just happened to me and the note was so good that I want to share it with you.
Thank You Past-Self
I recently restarted the Artist’s Way after starting and stopping many times, inspired by revisiting my conversation with Alicia Bonner on Knowing In The Bones. In the margins of a section on re-writing negative beliefs that fuel creative blocks I wrote, “Air my fears and they go away, my fears need air.”
And I was reminded of how true that is when I’m faced with stepping out of my comfort zone. Actually taking pen in hand and writing out every fear and belief that comes up around a certain topic. Letting the fears of rejection, abandonment, not being good enough/smart enough etc, etc, etc out of my body and onto the page. I remembered the time I wrote an entire story in my journal detailing exactly how I was convinced one of my relationships was going to end and why, and when I was done I realized that it was entirely fabricated from my fears and not based at all in reality. Such a relief! (Years later, that relationship is still going strong).
These days it’s dealing with all the voices that come up as I begin to revisit and re-imagine my identity as a choreographer. After a decade-long hiatus all the fear voices want to tell me that I’ve waited too long, I’ve wasted my potential, I have no right to take up that creative space anymore, I have no good ideas or inspiration, etc, etc. Bullshit, but it feels true until I see it on paper or speak them out loud to trusted ears! Once they are out, there is an opportunity to re-frame, replace, and rewrite with a more affirming lens.
(BTW, Coach Tara Mohr has a great video on these imagined and projected fears called “Pachad” in Hebrew - I highly recommend)
Being in Dialogue
Ok so the fears, do they go away completely? No. But I do think that writing them down and/or speaking them out loud (when we feel safe to) creates a space for us to gain perspective on the source of our internalized fears and if they are holding us back from our deepest desires or potential for expansion and joy. I truly believe that in airing fears out this way, the power they have over us dilutes, and we can begin to see our truth. It can be a conversation rather than an override.
Curious, how would your own own conversations go, if you grabbed a pen and paper right now? What new affirmations can you evoke in response to your fears? What needs or actions to take become clear?
Full Moon Ritual
Conveniently, it’s a full moon! And one of my favorite things to do on a full moon is to spend some time reflecting and writing things down that I want to release, then burn the paper (safely) and flush the ashes down the toilet. You bet I’ll be doing that tonight. It’s very satisfying, and for me, does a lot to create that psychic space. If that sounds fun to you, I invite you to do the same!
To fears,
Tara
P.S. If this resonates with you or someone you know, please share! And as always free exploration sessions to talk about things that come up are available :)