Hello Dear Hearts,

My cat tortured, killed, and ate a baby mouse last night. By torture I mean he proceeded to toss, pounce, and swipe at it just like he would one of his beloved toys. Then he chomped on it and swallowed it up till there was no trace of it ever having existed. He then proceeded to take a nap in one of his usual spots on top of the heater as per usual.

I was beside myself. 

Not because of the poor helpless baby mouse necessarily (well maybe a little), but I noticed that my first impulse was to try and stop Lucius (the cat) from carrying out one of his most primal instincts. Hilariously and ridiculously, I was worried that eating it would somehow be dangerous for him. Also, how could my sweet cuddly love-nugget be such a killer? I mean I like it when he kills a cockroach for me but that’s different.

He growled at me in response. 

Fair. 

Eventually I went from worried and overbearing to awestruck watching nature play out.

My reflection today is, why was my first impulse to something so natural, so primal, so instinctual, to contain and stop it? He was living his best life!

How often do I react with fear and worry to my natural impulses in life and in my art practice?

How often do I judge or try to fix others or myself when a previously unseen but valid temperament is revealed?

The acting training program I’m in right now is constantly holding up a mirror to the habitual socialized, protective, defensive, behavior that buries and blocks off the gut instinctual animal impulses that are being called forth through the work.  

I’m learning that sometimes those habits and behaviors mask themselves as impulses, covering up what the natural response to a circumstance wants to be given that we are nature. We are animals. 

In my coaching practice, it’s so powerful to witness my clients notice the constraints that conditioning, upbringing, socialization, and past trauma puts on their authentic impulses and voices. When their goals or art that they really want to make somehow doesn’t line up with this conditioning, it illuminates a disconnect that we then get to transform. The impact is always liberating.

How can we unlock the door to our natural impulses when our creative practice, inner healing work, and authentic relationships, are asking for precisely that?

What if we were in the practice of noticing when we try to stop an impulse or not make a mess of something? Is it for good reason? There certainly are good reasons in certain scenarios and we know that… but when is it a learned behavioral response that jumps in even when it does not serve our ultimate well being and happiness? What we truly want to become?

May we find moments to hold witness and allow nature to happen - and allow our hearts to open in the process.

Lots of Love,
Tara

Resource Share: Time Management for Mortals

I found this episode of On Being delightful and liberating. Sharing here as a follow up to my last post that touched on calendar stresses. Lots of good food for thought!

Does this spark up something for you that you’d like to talk about?